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Talk:Building A Mystery (2)/@comment-138263-20121102232239
Becky’s father took a hard-headed reaction to Adam that I absolutely think was stupid of him. The nerve of him – to suggest blatantly that Adam get therapy! While Rev. Baker is understandably concerned, Adam is quite aware of how many people feel about trans-gender matters, and didn’t need Mr. Baker to suggest therapy; Adam will seek therapy if she darn well feels it’s the right choice. Well, like Becky’s father, I also have a daughter. How would I react if a girl (who believes she’s a boy) wanted to take up with my daughter (who has declared she's totally accepting of God's design for human sexuality)? Let’s say my daughter's name is Rosa, and the trans-gender person goes by the name Sandy. “Sandy, you are welcome to be friends with my daughter. That’s not any issue at all. If you want to hang out and watch TV, play games, talk about things, do homework, take a walk or other friend-like things, that’s totally okay. But Rosa has shared with her mother and me that she feels very uneasy about the sorts of things you’ve suggested you’d like... such as Rosa marrying you one day and becoming a family. "Yes, Rosa told us that you didn't mention marriage, but Rosa explained that she won't simply live with a man, she will marry him before they live together or share sex with each other. And you accepted that those are Rosa's intentions and indicated a willingness to adapt. “Let me be perfectly honest. Dating, as we see it in our family, is the way we get to know someone we might want to marry. We don’t date people if we don’t see any possibility of marrying. When Rosa starts dating, she’s going to see if the boy is someone she could see herself marrying, and if she can get to know him well enough to accept him as he is and if he can accept my daughter as she is. “Sandy, you have the right to be who you wish to be, but I must be honest in my belief that you have not completely accepted yourself as the way God made you. Yes, I know many trans-gender people believe they are at peace if they accept that they are not the physical gender as they appear. God made you a female in physical nature, but He also gave you a very special trait... something that gives you an empathy with what it is to be male. Not completely, but enough that it affects the way you want to meet the world. “I won’t stand in your way on that... it’s not my place to. However, in fairness to Rosa, who’s made plain to us her unease, I would appreciate it if you understood that Rosa has made herself clear that she wants to marry a man when she grows up. Rosa will be looking to date a boy who can possibly be her husband... who was born with XY chromosomes and who has the possibility of biologically fathering the children they’ll have. It is what Rosa wants, and since marriage is a very personal matter, it is her decision. “So, I conclude by asking you to respect her wishes. Rosa wants to be a friend to you, and she doesn’t want to be a romantic interest who you hope will marry you. And if you say that’s not fair to you, well... life isn’t fair. There were a couple of girls I’d hoped to date but I didn’t get to, and eventually, I found my wife, and if it wasn’t for her, Rosa wouldn’t be who she is. “If you are what God intended you to be, then you will find someone who is just as you need that person to be in order to be your spouse. Whether that person is as female as you feel is necessary, or whether, as Rosa and her mother and I all pray, you’ll one day have peace with your female nature and you’ll cherish being the woman I believe God made you to be... an insightful woman who knows more than nearly any other woman what being a male is like.”